A cœurvid ouvert

Prendre le temps d'écrire, de souffler, de reculer et d'aimer à nouveau la vie.

Paroles à cœur ouvert vers qui saura écouter.

La Reine des Neiges - Libérée, délivrée

Nous sommes donc le vendredi 15 mai, quelques jours après le "déconfinement" officiel. (Ce mot déconfinement ne semble pas exister pour mon ordinateur qui s'obstine à me le souligner en rouge comme si c'était une erreur.)

J'adore écrire et pourtant, cela fait des mois que je suis bloquée.
Consacrer du temps à écrire, ce n'était pas envisageable. Comme si c'était des minutes et des heures de perdues.

Comment, moi me reposer ? Impossible !

 

 

J'avais l'impression d'avoir toujours quelque chose à broder, à scroller, à swiper, à liker,... Cette impossible et insoutenable pression des réseaux.

Pour autant, il est nécessaire de le faire. De dire stop. De respirer !


C'est rigolo car durant cette période troublée des mouvements de déculpabilisation sont nés ! C'est cool de ne rien faire, alors faisons-le !
Et je crois qu'au fond, c'est cette parole qui est la plus juste. Ne rien faire : c'est complètement OK.

Prendre un livre, regarder un film, ranger, dormir, s'allonger, apprécier le calme, se doucher, se regarder, se masser. Oui tout cela, lorsque je l'écris, me donne terriblement envie de vivre.

Cela fait donc plusieurs mois que nous sommes là à nous observer de loin. Les posts, les likes, les partages, les commentaires sont devenus nos seuls rapport au monde. 

La vie derrière et à travers un écran.

 

 

On a réussi à trinquer, à rigoler, à se disputer à jouer et à se féliciter via des écrans interposés mais punaise, qu'est ce que j'aurais préféré enlacer, embrasser, crier, danser, manger, disputer, ricaner avec mes proches !

Comment j'ai vécu cette période ? En travaillant d'arrache pieds, en me droguant à la broderie et à la couture. Dormir quelques heures par nuit et vivre pour travailler.

Alors que la vie commence à reprendre tranquillement, je me demande quand est-ce que nous allons replonger ? Cela semble inévitable lorsqu'on observe les comportements des uns et des autres.

Je n'ai pas envie. Non, je ne veux pas payer pour les autres. Moi qui respecte scrupuleusement toutes les consignes du gouvernement et des médecins. Moi qui n'ai vu personne depuis des mois, moi qui n'ai pas marché plus d'un kilomètre par jour. Moi qui me désinfecte les mains après chaque interaction en dehors de chez moi.

Je dis NON !

 

 

Johanna

 

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